Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
Every so often, especially around this season of love, we’re reminded about the kind of love we should be showing ourselves in addition to the people around us. Often this can feel as though it’s pushed by bath and beauty companies, looking to make a quick buck on you indulging yourself in a day of pampering. It can feel cheapened by how many products and messages are out there telling you to put yourself first. In a society where it feels many people already put themselves first, you might wonder what is the benefit? Isn’t it selfish to take time for myself when others need something from me?
But let me ask you this: what do you have to give to others if you allow yourself to become depleted emotionally, energetically, mentally, or physically? How can you take care of others if you aren’t taking care of yourself?
It can feel like a conundrum, but it doesn’t have to be. Self-care and self-love, aren’t meant to be selfish.
If you look up self-care in the Oxford English Dictionary, you will find that self-care is defined as “the practices of activities that are necessary to sustain life and health.” You’ll also find that the idea of self-care isn’t some new fad brought about by spoiled youths of a new generation, but an idea that the philosophers of ancient Greece believed in and practiced themselves.
Putting your basic needs above the requests of others, doesn’t seem very selfish to me. With this definition, I encourage you to challenge your own views of self-care, and perhaps, to think of it as self-nurturing, instead.
If you would have patience and acceptance for someone in a challenging moment, have patience and acceptance toward yourself. If you would offer someone a comfortable seat to rest their legs, remember to rest yours as well.
We use events and small moments of kindness toward ourselves, such as a warm, nourishing bath, or a quiet moment with a cup of tea, or an extra yoga class with a sound bath or massage, as options for learning to gift ourselves gratitude, patience, and compassion. If we believe that others deserve these things, what benefit is there in denying them to ourselves? If we offer advice to another, shouldn’t we listen to it, too?
Self-care can be found in the small, daily rituals that bring us peace, calm, joy, a quiet moment to reflect.
There’s nothing wrong with buying a new bath oil to create a moment of bliss for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with closing a door and taking time to read a good book.
By finding moments to renew and replenish, you refill your well of giving to better share of yourself with others.
—Gabbie Gordon
